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The Common Denominator… July 13, 2014

Posted by insanity2insanity in Uncategorized.
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I can’t ask if he is cheating because we aren’t in a relationship. We agreed to tell the other person if we wanted to sleep with someone else but I don’t know if he remembers. I can’t sleep. I hate being so anxious about this that I can’t function. The worse part is that I am beginning to think this is all my fault.
I wish it was easy for me to fall in love. I wish I was that girl who thought she was in love with every other guy that passed her by, but I am not. If I were that girl I would write this off as lust and swish my hips as I sashayed away. Except I know that I have been in love only once and he wasn’t my ex-husband.
The one says he is not interested in me romantically. He says there is no chance of a romantic relationship between us. He says he is not like my husband and he hates when I make references that compare them. But he is wrong, my husband didn’t want me either.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. There are guys from my past who remember a girl I don’t recognize. These guys want to marry me and be the father of my children. These guys swear they love me and always will. We broke up or never dated for a reason all those years ago, so I know it won’t work. Besides they don’t make my panties wet.
I meet so many new people and guys show interest in me but its only for the sex. I don’t wear fancy clothes, no heels, and I am fat (nothing sexy about me). Maybe I look desperate, that must be it, I look like I will settle for anything. I guess that’s why they are surprised when I turn them down. Some even get verbally abusive.
Something is obviously wrong with me, no one wants the girl I am, just the little bits they can tear off.
I don’t want to be awake in my big lonely bed thinking about whether he is cheating.

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