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Lonely… November 2, 2013

Posted by insanity2insanity in Uncategorized.
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I keep making it…
Every week…
I take deep breaths
I blog
I cry
I pray
I complain
I ask God why
And I want to give up but someone says something that keeps me going and then the weekend comes.
And I cry
I HATE the weekend. I HATE Friday. I HATE it all. Why does every weekend have to be so lonely? Why am I lying in my bed crying? Where is the point to all of this?
I feel so used and useless. Unwanted and unloved. My heart breaks and shatters into countless pieces. There is no putting it back together. I don’t think I need it though, might as well sweep up the pieces and toss them in the trash.
I HATE this life. This purposeless and painful life. This life of secrets and lies and deceit and pain. This life of insincerity and unfaithfulness and apathy. This life that keeps beating people into the ground over and over until they are not sure why they keep getting up.

I lie here but I don’t know why I cry.
I don’t think I want to be part of another weekend. I don’t want to cry anymore. I don’t feel like pretending that life hasn’t bullied me to the ground. Stamped all over me and left me to wonder is it worth getting up again.